Help Find A Missing Child Call 1-800-THE LOST (1-800-843-5678) If You've Seen This Child! Safe Zone LLC supports the work of The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children Personal Safety, Article 2 - Middle Childhood Middle Childhood (Ages 4-11): Your child has reached an age when more independence and less adult supervision can put them at greater risk. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, motor vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death for children of every age from 3 to 14 years old (based on 2002 figures, which are the latest statistical mortality numbers available). In 2004 alone, children aged 14 and younger died at the rate of 6 PER DAY!! with an additional 673 injured. PER DAY!!! Those are staggering numbers! Lead by example. Use you seat belt each and every time you get in the car. Your child is watching you and beginning to make judgements based upon your actions. When they see you consistently use seat belts you are positively reinforcing their use for your child. Protect your child in the car. All children younger than 12 years of age should ride in the back seat with a seat belt properly fastened. Children should ride in a car seat or booster seat until they are 4 feet 9 inches tall (because adult seat belts do not fit people under this height). Promote physical activity. Limit TV, video, and computer time. Read books with your child. Teach hygiene and reinforce handwashing after toileting and before meals. Teach your child how to swim. Choosing the Right Day Care: Finding the right Day Care provider can be a stressful situation. Here are some tips to help you find the right one and reduce the likelihood that things will go bad when you are not there. Ask around of people you trust. Talk to individuals you trust who are currently using or have used a Day Care service. Find out which providers were a positive or negative experience. Every state has an organization to oversee Day Care providers. You can find out which department in your state governs Day Care providers by clicking here. Most states inspect Day Care facilities. Review the results of those inspections to determine where deficiencies exist in the facility's program. No facility is perfect and nearly every one will be written up for some infraction but some problems are more serious than others. You also want to note if the problem was corrected prior to follow up inspections. Visit several facilities to determine which one is right for you. Call the facility director and schedule an appointment. The State of Indiana offers a comprehensive checklist to use when visiting a facility. You can access it by clicking here. With today's technology, you may find a facility that offers internet cameras that will allow you to check on your child throughout the day. You might utilize that service in your decision making process to see how staff interacts with the children and what activities the children are engaged in. Find out what security precautions the facility has in place. Typically, a facility will need to have the names of two adults over the age of 18 that will be permitted to drop off and pickup the child. The facility should NOT release the child to anyone who is not registered with them. Find out if background checks are performed on the staff. Ask if the facility has an open door policy for registered parents. If you can come and go when you want and if there are no off limits areas in the facility, sexual exploitation is less likely to occur. Make certain the bathroom has no areas where the child may be isolated. Find out who takes the children to the bathroom. Find out what supervision is in place during nap time. This is a particularly vulnerable time for children because they can easily be isolated while the other children are asleep and other staff members might not be present. Find out what training the employees have. They should be certified in First Aid and Child and Infant CPR at the very least. Ask if anyone is allowed solitary access to your child. For what reason? Once you have decided on a Day Care facility, ask to see a copy of their license and insurance certificate. They should be willing to provide both. As your child integrates into the daily routine, question them about their activities at the facility. Find out if they are happy there. Remember, this can be a stressful experience for your child as well. Try to determine which activities they enjoy and which they do not. Choosing the right Baby Sitter: The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children has an excellent pamplet on choosing a baby sitter. You can view it by clicking here. As with Daycare, you want your child's babysitter to be trained in First Aid and Child and Infant CPR. They will be your child's "first responder" should an accident happen in your abscence. Keeping Your Child Safe: You may recall in the articles on personal safety that we said knowledge is your most important tool in mitigating the likelihood you will become a victim. That is true for your child as well. Here are some things you can do and things to discuss with your child about staying safe. Always check first with a parent, guardian, or trusted adult before going anywhere, accepting anything, or getting into a car with anyone. Here are some statistics on child kidnapping: According to the FBI, the increase in missing children since 1982 is 444%! Most abductions are done by luring children to a vehicle rather than taking them by force, about half were 4 to 11 years old, and the others were 12 or older. 74% were girls. According to the Vanished Children's Alliance, every 40 seconds another child is missing or abducted. According to the U.S. Deptartment of Justice, the risk of abduction by a stranger is relatively low for preschoolers, but increases through elementary school and peaks at age 15. Teen-age girls are considered most vulnerable. Reinforce with your child that adults do NOT need directions from children. Know the Enemy! You may find it hard to believe but CONVICTED sexual predators live among all of us. Know who they are, where they live and work by clicking here. Do not go out alone. Always take a friend with you when going places or playing outside. Say no if someone tries to touch you, or treats you in a way that makes you feel scared, uncomfortable, or confused. Your child is very adept at seeing efferent cues (remember those?). They should trust their instincts and get out of the situation as quickly as possible. Tell a parent, guardian, or trusted adult if you feel scared, uncomfortable, or confused. There will always be someone to help you and you have the right to be safe. Here is another place that you may want to see the world from your child's height. We very often tell our child to seek help from police if they are lost or feel that they are in trouble. What we don't stop to consider is a child only sees a pair of uniform pants from their height. Unfortunately, uniform pants can be worn by any number of trades people, anyone of whom could be a child predator. Here is a better approach. If you child is lost, instruct them to go to a woman. A woman is less likely to be a sexual predator. A woman will generally stop whatever she is doing, when faced with an upset child, and stay with the child until the parent is found or the child is turned over to authorities. Another thing to consider. We place identification tags on our pets but we don't provide the same level of protection to our children. An informal study conducted by CBS News reporter Susan Koeppen found it took three times as long to help a lost child than it did to help a lost dog. Having critical information (name, address, your cell or home phone number) on your child, but not clearly visible, can mean the difference between being reunited in minutes rather than hours. While we're on the subject, how many children do you see walking around with their last name or full name proudly displayed on the jersey they are wearing or on their lunch box? How easy would it be for a predator to approach them and call them by name? "Hi, Judy!" the predator might say. He has immediately captured your child's attention. "Your mom asked me to pick you up after school today. She had to run some errands." How does your child react? By doing something as simple as attaching your child's name to their clothes, backpack or lunch box, you are giving the predator all the opening they need. As tempting as it may be, having anything clearly visible that identifies your child's name is NOT a good idea. If your child is approached by someone in a car, they should run in the opposite direction the car is facing. The driver will have to turn around or backup giving your child precious seconds to escape. A child running down the street screaming and being followed by a car is sure to draw attention to the situation. You child should run to the nearest safe house or store and notify a trusted adult of the situation. Family Code Word: Institute a family code word. Some school districts require the use of a code word before they will allow a child to leave with someone they do not know. If you school does not, talk to the principle about adopting such a program. Even if your school district does not use code words, your family can still adopt the practice. Despite our best efforts, it is still quite easy for a child predator to learn the name of your child. It is much more difficult for them to learn a well guarded code word. Your child should never go anywhere with anyone that he or she does not know. That's the first crucial rule that should be followed. If they must go with a stranger then it should be in the presence of another adult (their teacher, for example) that knows the family code word and then only if the person picking them up knows the code word. The code word should be something simple that your child can remember but never use the name of pets, cartoon characters, or some physical attribute (red hair, freckles, blue eyes) that an abductor might easily guess. Role play with your child so he or she is more comfortable saying "NO" to an adult. Test them about the code word and remind them never to share it. Have trusted family members try to obtain the code word from the child. If your child tells it then the word must be changed and you must reinforce with the child they are never to reveal the code word to anyone. If you search for "Stranger Danger" in an internet search engine (without the apostrophes), you will find all kinds of articles about how to keep your child safe. First Aid and Your Child: The American Red Cross has two First Aid Classes designed specifically for this age group: First Aid for Children Today (F.A.C.T.) (10 - 14 hours) The FACT Critter Clan leads kids, aged 5 - 8, through health promotion and injury prevention activities. Its environmental theme teaches safety in a non-threatening way. Topics include: Hygiene and health habits; First aid; Personal safety; and Injury prevention. The second class is: Basic Aid Training (B.A.T.) (6 hours) This course, which may be led by any responsible adult, introduces 8-10 year-olds to the emergency action steps, Check, Call, Care as well as to basic first aid procedures. An activity book with puzzles and games teaches children how to prevent injuries and what to do in an emergency. Kids and Internet Safety: You need to instill in your child that not everything they see on the internet is true. You need to teach them to be critical about the information they see. That is one of the reasons we strive so hard to list our sources for information and statistics we use on this site. We want you and your kids to be able to verify that what we say is true or at least comes from a reputable source. Here are some good tips from McAfee.com (the anti-virus folks): 1. Position the computer in your main living space and make sure the monitor faces OUTWARD into the room so there is no secrecy. This is the single MOST valuable thing you can do for your child's health and safety online. 2. Work as a team to set your boundaries. Discuss with your child exactly what is OK and what is not OK regarding what kind of Web sites are appropriate for them to visit, which chat rooms to visit and what kinds of things to talk about there. Set logical consequences for when your child disregards your rules (like grounded from the Internet for 1 week), but do NOT threaten to ban the Internet forever. 3. Stress to your child that they need to tell you if they get any weird or upsetting messages while chatting, and that you will not be angry with them nor will you ban the Internet as a result. Make it clear to the child that you understand that the child cannot control what other people say to him or her and that they are not to blame if this happens. 4. Set strict time limits for Internet chat use and enforce them. Internet addiction is a real thing! 5. Make it clear to your child that people in chat rooms are ALWAYS strangers, no matter how often they chat to them, and no matter how well they think they know them, and that while they may be good or bad people, they are still strangers. Your child should therefore not always believe everything people say in chat rooms. 6. Make sure your child understands that they are never to tell a person online their real name, their school, their phone number or where they live. 7. Do not permit your child to be left alone in cyberspace for long periods of time - this is when they are most vulnerable. Make sure that their chat time occurs when YOU are around in the house so that you can check in on them regularly. 8. Be sure to stress to your child that they are to behave politely and respectfully at all times while chatting online with strangers or sending email to friends. 9. Don't panic! No one can harm your child through the Internet as long as your child follows your rules. 10. Take an active interest in your child's activity online. Do NOT use the Internet as a babysitter! Learn to surf the Web and chat online yourself so you understand what it is that your child is doing. If you don't know how to chat online, ask your child to teach you! © 2002 Colin Gabriel Hatcher. We would only add that if someone on the internet wants to meet with your child in person, your child should notify you immediately. As in Step 3. above, reinforce that you will not be upset or angry with them if that occurs and that it is important they come to your regardless of what they were told be the person on the internet about keeping secrets or any threats they might have made. Obviously, you should contact your local authorities immediately and save the chat session or email that contains the information. You can control, to a large extent, what your children are viewing. Here are some software programs that will help restrict what your children can see on the internet. Blocking Software: We-Blocker - Free. Create different settings for each child. CyberSitter - Rated #1 by PC magazine 2003. NetNanny - Monitor and control your children's Internet viewing. KidsNet - Prevents certain types of emails from getting through. It has settings you can control by age. CyberPatrol - Restrict instant messages, email and sites. Bicycles, Scooters, Pocket Bikes, Skate Boards and ATVs: As children become more independent, we begin to purchase products that also make them more mobile. Unfortunately, an increase in injuries goes hand in hand with an increase in speed. You remember momentum and impulse from physics, right? Remember that your child is...well, a child. They have neither the knowledge nor the reaction time that adults have so motorized vehicles such as scooter, pocket bikes, and ATVs are particularly dangerous for this age group. The first rule you need to apply is make certain the toy is age appropriate. As a general rule, children aged 12 and under should not be allowed to ride motorized vehicles. Pocket bikes, scooter and ATVs can all attain speeds of 25 MPH and higher depending on model. The second rule is safety training. A child should never be allowed to ride on any device until they understand rider safety, and how the device operates. Once your child understands how their wheeled device operates then you need to make certain they are equipped with a helmet that meets the Consumer Product Safety Commission's (CPSC) standards. The CPSC offers the following tips on how to correctly wear a helmet: Wear the helmet flat atop your head, not tilted back at an angle. Make sure the helmet fits snugly and does not obstruct your field of vision. Make sure the chin strap fits securely and that the buckle stays fastened. A helmet is not a device your child can grow into. It needs to fit them and be properly worn to protect them. Additional safety equipped may be required depending on the device they are riding. Gloves, knee and elbow pads are a good choice if they intend to use a skateboard. Fire Safety: According to the National Safety Council, during 2005 one (1) person died in a fire every 143 minutes and 80% of all deaths occur in the home. You need to teach your children about fire safety and what they should do in the event of a fire. There are a number of excellent sites on the web where they can learn about fire safety and we have some of them listed here: http://www.usfa.dhs.gov/kids/flash.shtm http://www.sparky.org/ http://www.redhotdots.net/ http://www.survivealive.org/ Your Child and Tobacco, Alcohol, and Drug Use: I know, we're talking about kids that are 4-11 but now is the time to start talking to them in an open, objective, and non-judgemental way. Don't panic. You have already opened dialog on drugs each time you gave your child medication and explained to them that it wasn't candy. Continue with that conversation. Kids receive mixed messages when we tell them that tobacco, alcohol, and drug use are wrong and they see a medicince cabinet filled with drugs and movies and televion that depict all of those things as being cool. You need to separate fact from fiction for them. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Association (SAMHSA) 11.6 percent of 12 year olds report using alcohol at least once in their lifetime. That percentage more than doubles by age 13 and by age 15, it is over 50 percent. A program titled, "Too Smart to Start" targets kids aged 9-13 in an effort to prevent alcohol use in teens. You can visit their site by clicking here. The Office of Applied Studies, Department of Health and Human Services conducts an annual National Study on Drug Use and Health. According to their statistics, the percentage of children aged 12-13 years old that had used illicit drugs in the last month was 3.8%. The first illicit drug used, known as "substance use initiation", was pain relievers followed by marijuana. While pre-teens and young teens may think their peers approve of alcohol, tobacco, and drug use, the Study on Drug Use and Health found that over 92% of kids aged 12-13 disapprove of their use. When they say NO to drugs, alcohol and tobacco, they need to understand they are not alone. An overwhelming majority of their peers do the same thing!!!!! Check out the Coolspot.gov! It is the young teens place for info on alcohol and peer pressure. You can go to it by clicking here. Home Alone: According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Pyschiatry (AACAP), over 40% of children are left home alone at some time, though rarely overnight. We have evolved into a society in which both parents work (nearly 68%1) or the family consists of a single parent (nearly 25% 2) making it ever more difficult for parents to be present in the home when children are either leaving for school or returning after school. The AACAP offers the following suggestions for parents to consider when they are contemplating leaving their children home alone. Age readiness Definition of parental "rules and expectations" How to access parent(s) or other adults (e.g. phone numbers) Potentially unsafe situations (e.g. medical emergencies, fire, alcohol, drugs, strangers, guns, etc.) When and how to answer the phone or doorbell Use of phone, 911 for emergencies Use of computer (internet) Friends and visitors coming to the house Responsibilities for siblings Use of unstructured time (e.g. watch TV, videos, etc.); Access to "adult" cable TV; internet chat rooms and adult web sites You can also check out "It's My Life" at PBS.org. It offers kids a lot of ideas, games, advice, and information about being home alone, acting responsibly, and being safe. It's a really great resource. You can go there by clicking here. Bullying: This is one subject that does not need a definition. We have all been victims of bullying at some time in our lives and it isn't any fun. But what can you do to stop it? A lot, actually. Click on Stop Bullying Now!. Well, that's it for the 4-11 year olds. So young and so many perils!!!! As a parent, you are their first line of defense but by opening clear and honest lines of communication with your child and following some of the guidelines above, you can go a long way in protecting them and mitigating the likelihood that they will be seriously injured or abused. The next section deals with preadolescence (ages 11 - 12). If you are ready, just click here. 1 Source Whitehouse.gov 2 Source U.S. Census Bureau ©2007 Safe Zone LLC - Home